And another one comes...

So lets see if I can throw in everything that has been in the last few weeks...

My mother got a restraining order against my father, charging him with domestic abuse.  My father and I appeared in court to contest it and we succeeded.  A decade late, but I finally got to make a court appearance with my parents on each side of the issue!  Half my stuff is still in my basement, and my mother has refused to let me in when I've asked to show up and take my stuff, so waiting until I move into my own place and then hopefully we can set a date and she'll let me in...otherwise I'll be taking her to court myself.  This has completely fractured my family.  My father and I on one side, my mother and brother on the other.

The RGM at another pizza hut has been fired because of a sexual harassment accusation, so my boss has taken over the store up there while being in charge of the one in Urbana.  He plans on getting rid of most of the crew up there too because of poor training/mindsets/etc.  Jessica at Urbana is being promoted to RGM of that store which I think is great and my current boss is taking over the other store.  What this means is that I will be at max capacity of hours for the coming few months as both stores want me there.  This week I'm at 45 hours and will be getting overtime pay for it all, which will help my financial situation.

My aunt convinced me to go to FCC and see how close I am to an Associates degree.  So I went in and based off my HS transcript and FCC courses I'm halfway to a degree, add in a year at Winthrop (they need to re-evaluate my transcript for here) and I think I'm going to be 2 or 3 courses from a degree.  My aunt has pledged to pay for the courses so it's at no cost to me and I'll finally have some degree.  I am thinking about going and getting a degree in some business-related field (likely management) while continuing with a full time job as a manager at Pizza Hut (while hopefully moving up to Assistant manager and then RGM) so that I'll accomplish both getting the degree and the years of experience required to get any job in this wonderful economy.  I still don't like the idea of college, since it's selling out to "the man" especially in my case where moving up through the company really teaches you more than the degree, but I guess you have to play the game until we get some form of revolution (and unfortunately it's not looking like the Ron Paul kind is happening =/) but even then it likely won't change this aspect much.

I am currently living nearly an hour outside of Frederick, so every day I'm commuting quite a bit to do anything.  Amber is an hour and a half away whether she's at her friends or her parents place and work takes anywhere from 45min to 1hr 15min to get to.  Luckily my car makes this still a feasible trip financially, but it does make me a bit tired.  Left at 10:30am yesterday and got home just after midnight, did nothing other than work and commute.  But it is nice to see that I now have a desire to work, something I did not have for a long time.  I'm unsure whether if things had been different with college if I would've come to this earlier in life or not, impossible to tell really.  If I am finishing out a degree though it's even more lame of me to have dropped out.  Just proves how human I really am, which I did not really consider myself back then.  I considered myself so superior to others, probably part of why I was a republican, lulz.  I do wish I could have been emotionally/mentally together like I am now back when I had entered Winthrop.  I would have stayed in school and been able to weather the breakup, which was inevitable and might have helped me quite a bit in that scenario.  And so I would have had a degree, likely in a business field and not computer science but that's fine, still little to no debt, and I would've had a few years of college to look back on, because I do have some fond memories of my limited time there.  Of course as a counterpoint I could likely already be an RGM if I had been a delivery driver 7 years ago.  

Man boss just called me and asked me about some situation last night about me "getting into it" with the server about someone getting fired from another pizza hut and I have no idea what he's talking about.  As in, I didn't have any such conversation with the server nor do I even know anything about the person getting fired from another pizza hut.  Aside from the RGM no longer there at that pizza hut I don't know anything about anyone else getting fired from other places.

(no subject)

So now that I finally have internet on my computer again...

My Grandma was coming to visit a week ago.  My grandma wanted my mother to rent a car because she did not want to be in the backseat of my mothers camaro while being driven to our house from the airport.  So my mother begins to concoct a plan that includes me borrowing my dads car for the day.  I ask my boss off for Wednesday that week to see Amber, who I had not seen in two months, because Tuesdays I work 10-4ish and Thursday I could work a 5-9 shift and I'd have 48~ hours off of work to see my girlfriend.  Well my boss then gives me Wednesday AND Thursday off and I assumed a 5-9 shift on Friday.  So I go tell my mother that I will be out of town until midday Friday and she'll have to go through with something other than me borrowing my fathers car and working a shift in it.  My mother messages me on Facebook and asks if I plan on being home by 11am Friday.  No, I'm only awake by 11am on Tuesdays when I work at 10am, much less up at 8am to drive across 495 to get home by 11am to borrow my fathers car and deliver pizzas in it (which is illegal at minimum, and a bunch of hoops to jump through as well).  So my mother then tells me that the locks will be changed by Friday, so do not bother coming back.

She proceeds to get on the phone with my grandma to bitch about it.  Claiming that the plan always was for her to use my car and my father okay'd it.  When the reality is that my mother had asked my father about it the day before and he told her " fuck off, go rent a damn car" and I had spent the evening at my fathers and we were laughing at the absurdity of that plan, not about how that's what we were going to do.

So what was her final solution on what to do about the situation since I was not around?  She just had my brother sit in the backseat, cramped up.  Yeah, my brother both HAD to go along and me changing my entire plans around was a better idea than my brother either not going or sitting in the backseat.  So that's why I was kicked out of the house.  And yes, it stuck.

So on Monday I stop by my dads to get my tires air pressure fixed and apparently my mother is bitching about cell phone and insurance bills.  I already had purchased a new phone but was having issues getting Verizon to port my number to my new service (apparently they needed the account holders permission directly and lol at my mother doing something considerate) and had gotten a car insurance quote from a few different places.  My mother then starts threatening my stuff, so my dad calls me up an hour or so later saying we need to get my shit out of her house.  So my dad and I get the truck over to my mothers house.  We go to knock on the door, my father knocks and goes "Let us in" in a normal voice and my mother just starts freaking out.  I have no idea why.  Then she starts screaming that she's going to call the cops, and again, I do not know why.  My father has never hit her, she's the one that has abused him, emotionally/financially at minimum.  

She screams out the window "Matt is this how you wanted it?"  No, mother, I wanted to come and get my stuff.  I just wanted to walk in, get my things and get out.  I wanted nothing more than that, and I don't want any of the shit you "purchased" for me down there.  You got me a shitty little futon that I HATE, when I both wanted to shop for it myself AND PAY FOR IT MYSELF.  You would not even let me come along when that happened and you got a small thing that I cannot properly lounge in, which is by far the most important thing for me when it comes to a futon.  Of course, I also would have preferred not having to come get my stuff until I actually had a place to put it.  Now it's all spread around multiple places since I have no home.

So the cops start showing up.  One lady cop goes in to talk to her, largely bypassing my father and I at the door, I flashed her my drivers license to show this is where I live and I'm not even certain she looked at it.  Next lady cop shows up and walks right in, with nothing more than a "Good evening" greeting.  They both go in and talk to her, come out and tell us that I am allowed to come in and get my stuff. mother starts screaming things, something about "not giving me the time of day"...when they had just spent 5min talking to her and had not yet reached a minute speaking to me.  So now we're NOT allowed to get my stuff.  The cops tell me to take her to civil court, I will easily win, she has no ground to stand on, etc.  A 3rd cop shows up, he seems to be a higher ranked officer and he goes in and talks to her.  He comes out saying once again we can go in, but this time ONLY I can go in, and my mother will supervise to make sure only my stuff is taken and none of hers and he does not want to deal with anything that we disagree on who owns what.

So I get let into my basement, head in to get the box for my TV (which I kept knowing that it was likely going to be needed, even though this was back in September/October I made the purchase) and started attempting to get the TV back in there.  The TV is a 51" plasma TV, it's nearly as big as I am and this is a delicate electronic device.  My father is not allowed in, the cops won't help me, my mother is incapable and my brother is not to be trusted around delicate things.  I manage to shove it into the box and secure it with styrofoam.  Then I notice Amber's desk is missing.  Yeah, as I mentioned last post, she wanted to buy it, so she straight up took it after she kicked me out.  Stay classy, mother.  I am starting to get angry at this.  But I go pack up my computer, get some bags of clothes I had packed up but never unpacked after the November incident to put into the truck, and get most of my stuff out.  Currently my TV is at Cindy's house (dads gf), most of the clothes and things are at my fathers condo and my computer is with me at my temporary housing.

My mother sends me a message saying my car insurance will be cancelled starting 2/24.  So the next day I go to another Allstate agency to this time get my coverage.  Get the package I want, get them my routing/accounting number to pay for it and secure that to start on 2/23.  Mention to my mother about the number porting and she claims she has no idea, gets in touch with Verizon and claims that it's not even possible.  Likely what happened is she talked to them and they said that it's not possible without being charged with breaking the contract on the phone, so she told me it wasn't possible.  Because I've talked to multiple Verizon employees and no one said it wasn't possible, just that I needed the account holders permission.  So she also screwed me out of the contact number I have on every official document for the past decade and the number everyone has of mine.

Yesterday she was giving me crap about car insurance, telling me I need to call Allstate, tell them my plan, there is going to be a $150 charge for me to pay, etc.  So I call, talk to the guy for a bit, he goes to look something up on the computer, gets silent for a bit, tells me he'll call me back.  He calls back a few minutes later, says he tried to get in touch with my mother but she did not answer.  Then he tells me that everything is squared away on my side and to tell my mother to contact him asap.  Yes, I had everything taken care of and done with, mother.  I am capable of actually doing things, despite your silly, unfounded belief otherwise.

So now I have my own car insurance plan and my own cell phone plan.  Which means everything my mother has done for me is now replaced and I am fully free of her existence.  And I plan to stay that way.  She's not likely to change her ways, she's going to turn into her mother exactly, and be cold and alone when her health starts to fail (even more than it already has).  Of course there is also the option that she tries to kill herself again, and she probably has a higher chance to follow through with it this time than actually deciding to treat me as an adult.

Oh yeah and after the incident Monday my brother was hanging around with Nathan.  Nathan being the 'friend' that took my brother on a joy ride throughout North Carolina and spent over a thousand dollars my brother had.  Of course, I don't know how my brother got over $1000 since I gave all my mother to my mother and got bitched at for not contributing, but apparently she gives him money and he gets to keep his birthday/Christmas money and that's fine...?  Hmm.  And after the incident Nathan and my brother smoked some cigarettes and drank some beer in my basement.  She cares so much about the "mess" down there, but lets them do that?  Right, ok.

There's also some work drama going on, but I'll post about that later I'm sure when some more of the issue comes up.

Oh my God so much has happened.

No, I'm never going to update this on a routine basis, I can't even exercise on a routine basis and that is far more vital to my life.

Alright so since my last update: 

I spoke to my mother and got her to break down and let Amber move in.  I paid some extra rent and moved her in in October.  Everything has been wonderful.  Work going well, Amber to greet me when I get home, aside from being in a basement, damn near a white picket fence life.  I'm slowly acquiring money and buying some much needed improvements in my life.  I got a 51" 1080p plasma TV, some new pillows, some PS3 games (not sure if I mentioned these purchases last post or not) and then I got two new computer desks.  I got one for me because I wished to move to a two-monitor setup (full screen a game on one, be able to chat on the other, perfect for ADD me) and because the one I was using was about 2 decades old.  Mine is a big corner desk.  Not much to it other than being a lot of desk space.  I can fit the case and both monitors all on it at once with plenty of room for my keyboard/mouse and stuff, it's wonderful.  Amber had her computer on a dinner table we have stuck down here that is from Tom's old condo and nowhere else to put it, so it's just been down here for years.  I got her a nice little one that has some cabinets and an upper shelf and stuff.  She is more organized than me and likes the extra options for organization.

My mother was not a fan of these computer desks, I mentioned wanting them, she told me not to get them.  I told her I really did need an improvement, so I'm getting them anyway.  Since I'm a cheap person, I got some of the lowest priced options I could find.  $100 for one, $90 for another, including shipping (one was shipped to my house directly at that price).  Less than $200 for two desks, not a heavy expense, not a big deal, right?  Well, not to my mother it seems.  She complained many times throughout the process (like when I was at my dads to pickup his truck to pick up the desk at the store) and when I had them in the house.  The day after I got them put together my mother yelled at me to come upstairs and then proceeded to yell at me about them.  And then tacked on...and your "dumb bimbo girlfriend..." yadda yadda yadda.  And I'm like wtf?  What did Amber do?  "It's what she didn't do."  What didn't she do...?  No real answer, I honestly forget how she even responded to that, but it sure wasn't anything she actually did to or around my mother.

I head downstairs and post to facebook that it's a wonder I'm only partially an asshole considering who raised me.  And then we go to leave as this is Thanksgiving weekend and we were spending Saturday having Thanksgiving #2 at Amber's place.  We go down there and are awaiting the meal when my mother puts a comment on facebook of "I'm getting a peace order against you.  Calling the cops."  So I'm in wtf mode.  My mother has gotten mad before and stuff, but she's never threatened to kick me out before.  And this is even an extra step above kicking me out.  We get our food, eat quickly and start heading home as I have to work that night as well.  On the way home we talk with Liz, Amber's friend, who says she's coming to pick Amber up, she doesn't trust my mother (seeing what was said on Facebook) and so I leave Amber home for a couple hours and Liz and her husband come pick her up, some of her stuff and take her away to their home, 2 hours from my house.

Then I rush around thinking I have 3 days at best to find a new place of residence as I "should" be cleared until the end of the month since I paid for it and there is no actual legal reason she can kick me out since I did nothing wrong.  But I can't find any place.  I had money "saved" but all the apartments require background checks, credit history, employment history, etc. and a few days of paperwork as well as insurance, security deposit + rent above what I had saved up at the time.  Find out Frederick is EXPENSIVE to live in, cheapest 1bd apartment is $800 minimum, on the sketchy side of town.  I did have a couple prospects renting a room in someones house, but no one I really though I clicked with that well and stuff, and I do have more than a room full of stuff.  Eventually the night of Nov 30th my mother talks to me (I had avoided speaking to her as she had threatened police action, not giving her any claim to harassment) and says I'm fine to stay in the house, just Amber is never allowed in it again.  So I have a place to live, but it's clearly temporary as I'm not just living 2 hours from my girlfriend for the next decade.

When my mother was going to kick me out, I first called my father, who told me that there was nothing he could do.  Couldn't stay in his condo (he wouldn't say why) and I could not stay at his girlfriends place (he wouldn't say why here but I kinda understand).  So I was very pissed at him.  Obviously more at my mother but yeah, she divorced him, he's supposed to do everything possible to piss her off, come on.

On December 21st I was heading out to work when my brother came down and said my mother's car died on the road.  I said "not my problem, going to work" and went off to work.  She called him because I hadn't spoken to her for the most part in 3 weeks and figured she'd get a better response if he asked me instead of herself.  An hour later I'm out delivering pizza when I get a call and she says "Your car is mine tomorrow, my job is more important than yours, make any plans you need so you don't miss work tomorrow."  30min later I was taking a delivery out to someone on a rainy night and...I slipped off the road.  My car overcompensated and I quickly popped over the curve, then I turned and my car spun around about 300 degrees, my front kissed the guardrail and I ended up partially off the road.  I promptly drove back onto the road, while still proclaiming in my head "holy shit I just wrecked my car" and it was obvious my front passenger side tire was flat.  I got out, called my boss, he told me he'd call me back once he talked to his boss.  Called my mother, laughed and told her she was NOT getting my car tomorrow, because I'd just crashed it!  Oh how I enjoyed that moment.  My boss called back, said to take my car topper off, remove anything saying I was a Pizza Hut employee and another driver was out to pick up my delivery and take it for me (as I had requested earlier).  Since I'm a good soldier, everything was taken care of work-wise at that point really.  I then started working on the tire, had a guy come help me, got the donut on, and the car ran fine.  Got back to work, clocked out (I got paid for the 45~ minutes I was out there woo!), drove a coworker home and went home myself.  

I didn't think the damage was that bad.  New tire, maybe some new paint, push out some of the dents, good as new, right?  Well, my mother said it would cost THOUSANDS to fix it.  So we make a claim on our insurance, setup an appointment for the next day at 8am to get it inspected.  I get up, drive the car over there and receive a check for $2400 to fix the car.  Go to one body shop and they say they'll do it to the insurance price and maybe higher!  So I go home for now.  I hadn't slept the night before and was tired.  I did some browsing online but only found a couple possible places to take it.  I wake up from my nap and head for some food and my mother says that the check is void, she has gotten it direct deposited into her account and I must wait for her to take the car anywhere.  She also claims my father inspected the car and said it was unsafe to drive.  I then have a very wonderful Christmas alone in my basement unable to visit my girlfriend (no car!) or her visit me.  There was a hope that her brother would come pick me up since he offered, but then he flaked out on the deal.  As of Tuesday the next week, I'm told by my mother that the earliest we can go look for a place to fix it is Thursday, 8 days after the crash, she can't get off work before then.  And I can't go to fix it myself, car is unsafe and I don't have the money!  But I hear my father will lend me his car so I can work.  I hadn't spoken to him since the whole housing situation a few weeks back though.  But went over there, got his car, he said he'd get my car in the shop tomorrow with his mechanic.  Called my boss and got some hours back for the week, woo.

My father says the guy is trying to keep the cost around $1k, but it might be a bit more.  When I hear it's fixed, my mother gives me $710 cash, tells me to pay for the rest of it myself and she'll refund me the difference.  The actual cost was $1240, I put in $40 cash I had (I was going to pay my father for usage of his car) so my mothers cash + her card she paid $1200.  She got a $2400 check though, and I don't see how she's entitled to that money when she showed NO rush to getting my car fixed and I lost all my income during this period of time.  I got a few hours with my dads car, but not my normal 30+ hours.  So I decided I wouldn't pay rent for two months ($600 total) so that the end result is $1200 fixes car, I pay $40 and save $600 ($560 to cover lost wages) and my mother pockets $600, which mostly went to fix her car which required an $1100 fuel pump.  My mom isn't happy with this plan, but I don't care at this point, I was so angry that she did not care one bit about getting my car fixed, took the check to stop me from getting it fixed myself, etc.  I'm 26, can you not let me try and figure this stuff out?

During this time I also get some shifts up at Emmitsburg in their Pizza Hut.  In this Pizza Hut the RGM lets people smoke inside the store (since she herself does ALL the time) and one night one of the employees threw an apparently not-completely-out cigarette into the trash can, and smoke started to come out of the room.  We caught it, took it outside, I poured water on it, all was saved after we aired the place out for a bit.  But just goes to show the RGM really needs to change her policies.  I don't let them smoke inside the store when I manage up there, they go outside.  Freeze your asses off addicts!

So then I see a condo up for sale.  $80k, 2bd/2br, decent neighborhood, up for a 3% down financing option through Fannie Mae.  I go to speak to my father, he says to call my ex-neighbor who is a mortgage loan officer.  I call her up and she says that I cannot get a loan myself without 2 full years of employment history (federal regulation) unless I get a family member to cosign the lease.  My father says he cannot cosign since he plans on flipping houses in less than a year when he retires and needs the open credit.  Obviously not asking my mother, she wants me at home taking orders from her, I don't want her to have ANYTHING to hold over me.  So I start talking to my Aunt (who my father also said to contact about buying my own place) in hopes that MAYBE she would be willing to cosign.  Facebook is my only form of contact with her, so we send long messages back and forth.  It was a slow day at work, so I was doing this at work too.  We got out a bit late, oops, my bad, though we did have a really late delivery to McDonalds of all places right before close, which always makes close take a while.  But still my mistake.

The next day the night is going great.  Non-stop deliveries, just in and out of the store, making plenty of cash, get back from a delivery, 5 more in the queue, and I'm only driver in there, so 2~ more deliveries at least before I go home, sweet!  Boss asks me to see him once I get cashed in from the delivery I just took.  I go back to see what he wants and he asks me "Why did <other shift manager> just say he never wanted to work with you again?  And that you were on facebook and not listening to what he said?"  And I was like "uhh...I have no idea, I WAS on facebook last night, but only to talk to my aunt.  I was on too much, I understand, I apologize, won't happen again, but I have no idea why he would say I wouldn't listen to him, we didn't get into any argument or anything."  But he was pissed, so he sent me home, despite there being deliveries to take.  And I freak out more and more as time goes on, thinking he's going to fire me.  I don't see him for a few days, I freak out, but talk it over with the other shift manager and he says my boss just overreacted and things are fine.  End result is I got written up (other shift manager has been written up before too) and lost hours for a couple more weeks, but my boss was never pissed at me other than that first day.  He was friendly and smiling/laughing the rest of the time.  And now I'm back to my normal hours, working my management shift on Tuesday and over 30 hours overall.  So I lost a fair bit of money, but everything is fine now, hopefully being written up doesn't mean anything later on, we shall see.

Getting tired so going to quickly move things on now...

-Tom was put on some new medication, it had an extra reaction with one of his other meds and he ended up taking a lighter to the thermostat, setting the fire alarm off and scorching a wall at 3:45am.  He was picked up by police at 7am walking around barefoot in 20 degree weather and hospitalized for a few days.  My mother wanted to kick him right out of the house.  I yelled at her, told her he needed help, not to be thrown out to be homeless again, so get him help.

-When I first got the job I was taking my work shoes off at the door to not track grease into the house.  My mother yelled at me, said she didn't want shoes upstairs, and to just walk into the house.  Because of the above incident, we're getting new carpet in the house, so her stance has changed.  She wants me to take shoes off at the door, then carry them downstairs.  That doesn't fix too much, since grease would still be on my shoes and get on the carpet downstairs (there is no uncarpeted area of my basement, but there is tile when you first enter the house) so I just leave my shoes upstairs.

-My mother wants to buy Amber's computer desk.  Yes, the desk she said was completely pointless and my old 20 year old desk was good enough for me.  Mikey needs a new computer desk.  I ask what is wrong with the now extra computer desk we have (the old one) since I can bring that right upstairs.  She says it's "not a real computer desk" because there is no keyboard sliding thing.  So why was it good enough for me?  Why was my purchase unnecessary if the desk isn't even good enough for my semi-retarded emotionally-challenged brother?

-My grandma is coming the weekend of Feb 11th, her little sister is having her 80th birthday party.  She's spending the weekend here.  For the record, I called my grandma when my mother kicked Amber out, hoping she could put some pressure on my mother to get a therapist and get her mind less crazy.  My grandma fully backed my mother and called my girlfriend useless and just out to use me.  My grandma is supposed to be a good Christian woman.  I could have SWORN being a Christian included caring for the weak...

-I filed my taxes, they are beautiful.  Since I was only employed half the year I didn't make enough to pay state or federal taxes, and I qualify for an extra income reimbursement, so I'm actually getting 20% of my gross pay refunded to me, lulz.  Already got the state refund back.  Once I get the federal I'll be up to 6 months of expenses saved up, nearly including getting my own apartment.

-My best friend is moving here from MS soon.  Once he gets the okay from the police.  He's on probation, for statutory rape, and a registered sex offender.  Have I mentioned this on LJ?  I think I have, not sure.  It's a bogus charge, but not explaining it all now, I will if anything wants me to in a comment (lol, comments?).  In MD you actually get your sex offender charge dropped after 10 years.  In MS, it never comes off.  He has a great aunt in the area and will live with her while he finds a job up here.  Then we'll share a condo.  That's the plan.  Not sure how it'll all work since I can't get a loan and most apartments won't let a SO in.  So we'll see.  He put in to move here a month ago and police haven't okay'd it yet though, he's expecting them to, but taking a while.  Oh what fun it must be to be in his life, heh.

-Chris came to spend a week with me, having marital troubles.  It was good times, it was during Amber's stay here.  We didn't talk about things much, and he went back in about 6 days, and everything is going great for them from what I gather, which is great.  But I do wish I could have seen them more.  I did get to fill him and his wife in about things as they were around the Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend, so I got to talk about my wonderfully insane mother to them.

I think that's about it for an update.  Also lets see...Carrie deleted her LJ from what I gather (though she updated far less than me lol) and hasn't responded to my facebook message from MONTHS ago and never added me on Google+, so I think we're done talking for...forever, lol.  Oh well, sad as I really am interested in talking to her about things, especially since I now have political beliefs that probably actually align with hers!  Back in the day I was the polar opposite of her entire family politically.  Her father was always a cool dude, been thinking about following him on Twitter and seeing if anything happens.  He technically was one of my first "employers" since I worked on the site with him.

So uhh...maybe see you in another 4 months?  Hahaha...

(no subject)

I never got to make that bitch post I wrote about, but I guess now works.

So not long after my last post, I got a call from Rich, who works for Pizza Hut, asking me to come in for an interview.  When I came back to Frederick for the interview I found out that my basement had some flooding (not TOO serious, but the carpet of around 1/4 of the basement was soaking wet).  It was decided it was time to get rid of the carpet entirely since it's not the first time there's been a leak and there's likely mold in the carpet/padding somewhere and such.  So I've since moved a couch, since all other bedrooms are taken.  As of today, I'm still in a couch, it's been over two months.

So anyway, I got the job at Pizza Hut, I am a delivery driver / shift manager, depending on what Rich needs me to be.  I work at the new Urbana store, which opened 3 weeks ago and is the busiest store of the 9 Rich's boss Tom runs.  So now that I'm getting paid, I can actually pay rent on a regular basis now, as opposed to just occasionally giving all my temp job / holiday money to my mother.  My mother demanded $300/month, and I started paying this month, even though technically I have no room and am just sleeping on a couch in an area with no doors (privacy).

I've seen Amber very little, I think 3 trips to see her in the last 2 months, one trip consisted of me moving her out of her house to a friends house at 2am to escape her brother who has a violent rage of a temper and gets angry at small things.

I was thinking about buying a new TV, the last on my short list of "must buy soon after I get a job" since I have a smartphone (necessary as a driver) and have the components to build Amber a new computer near me.  My mother calls to tell me there's another one of my loans to pay off, so not to spend my money, so I don't.  I started looking into her finances, bank account, mortgage, my student loan, etc. to see how things are.  I come up with a solution:  I'll pay her $600/month, willing to pay more for additional payments down the line, if she pays off that final loan OR makes an extra mortgage payment or two OR refinances the loan to a better bank (screw Bank of America and the bank we both use for our checking accounts has a better loan deal as far as I can see) and lets Amber move in.  That's double my rent and more.

She says that I never do anything around here and that I just mooch.  But for years she has been nothing but money to me.  She doesn't cook for me, clean for me, do laundry for me, I do all of those things myself.  The only thing she's done for me the last few years is provide the roof over my head and pay utilities and such, which are very important, but her argument is that I do nothing and just mooch, when I fully take care of myself and now I am even paying rent.

I try to work with her, I cook for everyone on occasion (though I do that more only when Amber is around), I fetch meals whenever I'm around (fast food stuff), I mow the lawn (which I did today) and I ask nothing of her other than the base agreement of her allowing me to stay in the house that we've had for years.  But she isn't willing to sit down and discuss things with a clear head.  She won't budge, she won't hear me out, nothing.

I concocted an alternative plan a few weeks ago to move into my fathers condo (since he doesn't live there anymore, but it's not worthwhile to sell it in this market).  He says it needs a lot of work before it is habitable.  So I say I'll save up the money to get it fixed up, then I'll pay you some of the rent for it.  From his point of view, he doesn't need to pay to fix up his place and he'll get an extra $500/month or so, but something seems to be stopping him from agreeing to this.  I don't know what.

All I know is that I am trying hard to find a good deal, within my family, that helps out all parties involved.  But no one wants to work with me and/or help me.

(no subject)

 Bitch post about my mother probably coming soon-ish.  Surprised I didn't actually write one today, was too busy cleaning to post I suppose.  Not sure why I cleaned, must be the estrogen...wait a minute...

Two in one day! OMG!

 So it seems I've now lost all my WoW friends.

We all went to Rift together, but I didn't care for Rift so I quit, so I already wasn't doing much with them, but got on ventrilo and talked with them often, though this was mostly just Cal.

The other day I was remarking about a situation I was reading about on 4chan.  There was some girl who was making facebook status comments about her mother and saying things like "I don't love you and never will." and "I hope you die I hate you LOL".  This was over the course of multiple days, not just one big rage fit either.  ALL her facebook friends were like 'wtf no cool' and her only response was "you don't know her so you can't talk".

These are the kind of people that I just might dislike most in the world.  Entitled brats that have zero respect for others.

Now I started talking about this on vent with Gor and Cal on and I was saying "Well I just might be witness to the next "committed suicide because of bullying" story" and explained the 4chan thread, which was people getting onto facebook and messing with the girl for making these comments.  And apparently that remark right there was enough for Gor to want nothing to do with me ever again.  He deleted me from his friends list on any place we were linked and avoided coming onto Vent while I was there.

I found this out because today Cal never came onto vent, which is odd, he is almost always around on Sundays.  I decided to switch over to an old vent, which is technically owned by Gor and there he was.  I asked "why the ninja change?" and he said it "wasn't a ninja change, this is just the only vent Gor will come on".  Well, you changed what vent you came on and didn't tell me, that counts as a ninja change.
Now Cal doesn't dislike me, he is the stoner dude that doesn't hate anyone (except the police), but he's been best friends with Gor for a very, very long time, well before MMO's.  If Gor doesn't want anything to do with me, there's really nothing for me to do.  Tom dislikes me for some unknown reason, he just stopped talking to me a month or so ago, no explained reason.  My only guess is me calling him and Cal crazy because they seriously, honestly believe in there being Aliens out there visiting Earth on a daily basis getting caught on amateur video.  Eva (Gor's wife) stopped coming onto vent on a regular basis before we even quit WoW, don't know why exactly, but she stopped coming around.  So with Eva, Gor and Tom wanting nothing to do with me, and Cal clearly going to side with them whenever a choice has to be made, I have now officially lost the people I called friends for the past 3-4 years.
This means that my oldest friend who I talk to on a regular basis is the guy in the last post who has a very real chance of being put away in prison for many years.  So I have Amber and one buddy I talk to about my Heroes of Might and Magic:Heroes Kingdoms game left in my life, that's it.
History keeps repeating itself, why does that mean I have to keep losing friends?

(no subject)

 So I'm long overdue for an update.

Firstly, mother has "grounded" me again.  Amber is not allowed over, anytime I run an errand for her I have to pay her the change back in full and I hardly even get to run errands.  She doesn't buy food for me, nor does she cook dinner for me.  Surely this is the best way to motivate someone to get a job, starve them and rob them of any joy.  This means I have absolutely no money, nor income of any sort, unless I find a job, and have to eat bad food while attempting to return to running and losing weight.  Recipe for success for sure.

Secondly, I returned to FFXI in my MMOing.  WoW without friends is worthless, Rift was a reskinned WoW with nothing that really interested me and FFXI has all sorts of nostalgia, combined with old friends and most importantly, Amber's computer can run it.  So it's something we can do together.

Thirdly, my friend is in all sorts of troubles.  And this is what really made me come to post.

To start off, he's gay and an exclusive top, I used to be VERY anti-gay because I spent my high school around Church people.  This weakened over time, but even when I met this guy I would argue/debate him about things, how he felt, how things worked, etc.  His father is a Preacher, and he never came out to them either because he lives in the south on top of it all, so they wouldn't ever accept that about him.
One thing my friend routinely did was look for casual hookups for sex online, various websites and such, just throw on a condom and they're safe and all that.  I wasn't a huge fan of this, but I'm not going to stop him from doing this or anything so oh well.  Anyway, a few months ago he hooked up with a guy through craigslist.  A week later, another guy hooked up with the same guy...and got caught doing it in a public parking lot somewhere.  And then it turns out the guy on the receiving end is...15.  After questioning the 15 year old also told about having sex with my friend.  Even though it was the 15 year old posting the Craigslist ad looking for sex and my friend and the other guy responding to it.
But both of them are being charged with statutory rape.  My friend lost his job immediately after news broke out, had his computer confiscated by police and had to be bailed out of jail by his parents (who got to find out their son was gay and not a standup Christian through a rape charge) and moved in with them during this whole ordeal as he could not afford to stay in his place with no job.
Fast forward a few months:
1) He still doesn't have his computer back from the police, it's been nearly 6 months.
2) He's still without a job, because he's kinda famous for being a guy who raped a kid!
3) His parents are kicking him out because he's "not trying hard enough to be Christian"
Now for 1) This is just stupid.  It does not take that long to scan a computer for what you need.  He only has internet access through his phone which is certainly subpar for being able to look for jobs as well as any hope of trying to get his mind off of stuff.
For 2) What happened to "Innocent until proven guilty", America?  His face was plastered all over the news and it was even made to sound like he just picked up some random kid from a playground and raped him.  THE 15 YEAR OLD WAS ASKING FOR SEX, THERE WAS NO ADVANTAGE TAKEN HERE.  As well, my friend did not know the guy was 15.  And if you know anything about guys, you know there are plenty of 15 year olds who look "legal".
And 3) Thank you for showing Christs love to your son, Mr. Preacher!  My friend has no money and cannot afford to stay any place, but he's getting kicked out while he's even more hard pressed than nearly anyone to be able to acquire a job.  The trial isn't until October, so there's no chance he can get his name cleared for another few months.
This whole situation is stupid.  The speed at which everything going is absurd.  His entire life has been moved to a complete halt because someone else fooled him.  He may get his life ruined for it.  And that other guy who got caught?  He's in medical school and graduated from an Ivy League college.  Neither of these guys are terrible people, they're getting screwed for screwing the wrong person and their lives are just up in the air during this time.  I would go absolutely bonkers in this situation.  If I had my computer, I could at least ignore the stress half of the time, but he's got very little to do and almost nothing going for him to get his life back on track...for months!  And he's a gay man on trial for statutory rape in the south, even with the facts he doesn't have a whole lot of a chance to be cleared, he might be going to jail for years for this.
There's little reason for me to complain about my life when people are getting screwed over by life far me than I ever will.

Ignore this.

So I was bored and attempting to stay up a bit later to fix my sleep schedule and was typing up a post about WoW for the WoW forums.  Unfortunately it seems without an active subscription you cannot post on the forums.  Not wanting to waste all that I typed, although with no WoW player readers of my LJ it technically still is being wasted, I copy/pasted it here.

On that topic, my WoW subscription ran out.  And this Rift game is coming about, so I decided to not renew WoW just yet.  Trying out the beta.  The game is alright, nothing amazing, but it has promise.  And all my friends are getting it now it seems.  Gor/Eva pre-ordered it, Zent is playing, and with Gor playing, Cal will be playing.  So all 5 of us will be there.  I don't like the extra cost of switching MMO's, but it is something new, so I'll deal with it.  Anyway, tl:dr- skip the rest of the post. 

So I've just recently decided to try the Rift beta. It has a LOT of copy/paste from WoW. And it has a very similar feel to it. Nothing is omgamazing, but it's a good, solid game without any complaints, similar to how I view WoW.

I've done Warhammer, Aion and (lol) FFXIV betas and I knew all of them had no chance playing it. Rift has a shot, I think, at least to keep me away. And I'll actually be giving the game a shot, and it's because of Blizzard showing some weakness in their development, here's what I don't like:

1) No Outland/Northrend difficulty changes, at all. Emperor Thaurissan has been buffed to have 67k hp now in BRD, a level 55ish instance. The Doomguard guy in Ramparts has 59k hp.
2) Still the jump from vanilla to Outland in skills/stats. For one, this throws off PvP like nothing. PvP is pretty good until the 55 bracket and then it gets pretty iffy. When you level from 57 to 58, your spells JUMP still. Lava Burst on my recent shaman went from 700s to 1000s in tooltip damage simply from leveling. Why, with the reset of all the stats in the game and the revamp of spells when it came to no longer having ranks and everything, did you not program everything in to just streamline to Outland levels? Why does that jump exist?
3) The jump to 81+ is completely unlike the rest of the game. BC and WotLK both feel like WotLK when you play through those levels again. Then you get to Cata which throws you in a COMPLETELY different direction. Why not smooth out the base health/mana rates instead of having wild jumps towards the end? It'd help everyone adapt to the new Cata model earlier as well as help PvP balance in these levels as people would have more health in a bracket when it's pretty easy to think it's still S5.
4) Having Outland/Northrend still around breaks lore. Garrosh is the great new hero/warchief of the Horde from 1-58. Then you get to Garadar and what's this? Garrosh Hellscream, a weeping, crying, whiny baby of an orc because an old orc is dying? And then he's still only a commander guy in Northrend? Why not just have Saurfang take over in Warsong Hold? And maybe Saurfang the younger lead Garadar and some random NPC take over at the Caravan in Nagrand?
5) And there's a blue post confirming no plans to change Outland. Laziness, really, you're better than this Blizzard.
6) Holiday mistakes. Goblins not added to Coin of ancestry reputation gain. Cairne sending out valentines.
7) Less blue posts. Developer communication was one of the things I would remark to my friends as being one of the amazing things about Blizzard, namely because of how WotLK was handled. The open line of communication, knowing how things were going and progressing. But now we just get an occasional blog from GC and far fewer blues posting on the forums at all. I've never felt WoW was an "omgamazing" game, but how Blizzard develops the game is "omgamazing" normally, and WotLK was the pinnacle of this.
8) BG bots. Both leveling up AND at 85 they're always around. You've had actual developers/programmers there to watch raids, we've seen screenshots of GM's talking in trade or /say chat. Why can you not assign a few GM's to look through BG's and at LEAST temp-ban the bots? That seems like the easy/quick option. Another would be to add something to the Deserter debuff that if you get it a certain number of times per day/week you get a super deserter debuff and cannot queue for a week or something.
9) Frost mages.

Now, I reference WotLK a good bit, but in no way do I wish for the easy AOEfest of WotLK. I'm quite happy with the Cata difficulty and that's not my issue in the least. You set out to go with something else in Cata and are sticking to it, I can respect that and you performed well when it came to what you seem to have aimed to accomplish.

But it doesn't seem as polished as it was, it doesn't look like all the bases are being covered. Maybe I'm just starting to expect too much from Blizzard, though. I've stuck to WoW for so long because WoW is a good game, it still is. And it's still possible I make a return.

However I'll end the post with this: My current running conspiracy theory is that Trion is actually Blizzard. The game is too much copy/paste of WoW and too high quality to really be some unknown company. And they're doing a lot of what WoW has put into the game recently as well as keeping communication very open like I enjoyed Blizzard doing. If this isn't a secret Blizzard company they've certainly learned their lessons from WoW.

Everyone (smart) knows no one will be able to kill WoW but Blizzard. But the annoyances are starting to get to a point that maybe that time is coming, soon.

Even I can have a heart.

Oh WoW, how you injure me so.  Currently I'm in Heroic Grim Batol and we are unable to complete the encounter because the damage dealers in the group are unable to output enough damage.  Our mage particularly.  He can't do the damage, he's quite a bit below everyone else, but he's talking and he's not being a jerk about things.  But we need to get rid of him to have any chance at defeating this boss.  I feel bad because this probably happens to my brother all the time.  I don't know for sure, but I'm certain he's not a very good WoW player.  But I don't like the idea that he's getting kicked from groups over and over, unable to play the game as he wants.  As much as the kid frustrates me, and that is to no end whatsoever, I don't want him to suffer.  He already has a life of uselessness ahead of him, he should at least be able to enjoy as much as he can.  

Depending on my mood, I'm either able to forego any thought about the humanity of the other person, or I liken them to my brother and feel sorry for them.  I wish I could more consistently feel nothing for them.  But today I was just in a mood where I felt bad for the guy.  And things love to just escalate for me.  My mind continues on a train of thought like this over everything.

Ok so I haven't posted here in a while, so I guess lets go with some bullets over what has happened:
- Mother kicked Amber out "until you get a job".  I think this is around the last post or so.
- Mother invited Amber to come visit for Thanksgiving, so I kept her up here for a while.
- Surprise, Amber is pregnant.
- With no other options shown to us, we got an abortion for Christmas, best Christmas ever!
- After Christmas, Amber spent a full 5 weeks straight at my house with no complaints at all from my mother.
- Amber recently returned home to spend some time with friends.  Whether I'll be getting her for Valentine's Day or waiting until after she dog sits for her parents over Presidents Day is still to be decided.

I am still unemployed, seen no luck anywhere.  Recently applied to a job at a friends company, got an e-mail about setting up an interview time, but it's been 5 days and no response on when the interview will be, so I think that's a no on getting a job there.  Though I need to be trying harder and looking more for work.  I've been slacking last month or two.  Though every time I do look it's quite an abysmal list of jobs out there.

But I believe the whole ordeal made my mother realize just how important Amber is to me, and how important I am to her.  Neither of us wanted what happened, but it was the "best" choice and we made it, for us, for our parents, for everyone that would've been burdened by not doing so.  We haven't spoken about it, so I think we've both just moved on and done the human thing, not think about it, and that's something I'm working on being better at.

Anyway, I think that's my update for a while.  For the most part, there's not much reason to complaint/vent here about things when everything is soothed by having Amber in my life.  But maybe I'll update on things more later, just to write it down for whatever reason (i.e. bonus points with Amber).

Pre-emptive thought processing

 Well my mother read it but I was asleep last night and we only caught each other a bit this morning.  She said we had a lot to talk about and then said she didn't know what I wanted her to do.  I told her I wanted her to be supportive, like she was 2-3 months ago, essentially before Amber.

And this is where we get to "the issue".  She doesn't "like" Amber.  She doesn't think that I'm a capable caretaker, and Amber needs a caretaker.  Based on this she thinks we're not compatible.  But really, this is why we are compatible.

Because of my upbringing, in a household with strong female dominance and a father that would do her bidding, I'm used to 'serving', in a way.  And with all the talk of relationships like that (via entertainment like TV/comedians/etc.) I have this expectation that I need to do a certain amount of work just to make the woman happy.  

I'm not always fine with this though, I want equality wherever possible.  My biggest problem throughout my entire time growing up was always "why?"  Why do I have to do this chore, when you're fully capable, can do it better, quicker, you're closer to it and it's only purpose is because you want it done, not any actual function.  I don't have that question with Amber.  Or rather, I already have the answer.  She can't do it, or mostly, I can do it easier/quicker/etc.  Because I'm the more "capable" person in the relationship, the biggest thing stopping me from being that hardworking responsible first-born is not there.

I will eventually start building up a full and complete mental checklist of all that needs to be done and I will schedule out when.  I will do these things, once I get started and can figure it all out.

And this means that I'll have done my "work" that will allow me to accept that I've worked and earned her love, while I get to be a responsible adult, and I will have no problems doing so.

On another point, I work in waves.  If I'm slow and sluggish, I will continue to be slow and sluggish.  If I'm up an about, I will continue to be energetic and up and about.  With Amber, being a caretaker for her, I have to be up and about and energetic, this serves to make me more energetic and active.  Which is essential to me doing more with my life than being a pro at MMO's.

One of my mothers biggest complaints is that she sees me just being downstairs and playing games, like I used to do.  But that's just a reality of my life she's going to need to accept.  I've never been the person to get out and go.  Aside from going to the movies, or the occasional youth group event/card games, the only time I ever went out earlier in my life was because Carrie had things for us to do.  My life has always consisted of two interests, sports and video games.  Sports, while I'd love to get back in and be able to run, play soccer and/or frisbee, isn't something you can do a whole lot of.  Simply because you need others to do them, and you need to be in better shape than I currently am, especially to be able to do it for long periods of time.  It's not a viable option to take up my entire day, at least not until I have a job sucking away the majority of the day to begin with.  So that leaves my other interest, video games.  It just so happens, Amber enjoys that too, so it's something we can share and do together.  I don't know what my mother expects me to go out and do, I'm a practical person.  I don't go shopping for things I can't afford.  I don't look at things I can't afford.  I don't have the money, therefore there's no point to going out and window shopping to me.  And most other things cost some form of money, which I cannot do.

I don't see what my mothers issue with that is, my mother has none of her own interests.  She does nothing other than facebook games and occasionally she talks to one of her coworkers on the phone.  Then maybe once a month she goes out and has a couple drinks at a bar somewhere, if it's even once a month.  Even the drinking is new for her, she didn't do it until recently.  Before the last year, she did absolutely nothing, just watch TV/read magazines/play games/etc.  So I don't see why she expects me to be some wildly active person.

Anyway, I think that's about all my prep work for my inevitable discussion with my mother.  It won't be until Sunday/Monday, as I'm heading to Ambers for the weekend, but oh well.  As usual, I feel I've forgotten something I was going to mention, but oh well, maybe it'll come to me when the talk actually happens.